Fat Brown Envelope

The Fat Brown Envelope
by Brian Ratty
copyright 2012

Over the years, our company, Media West, has had many wonderful clients, many of which were adverting agencies. One of these firms approached me in the late seventies about producing television commercials for a large retail client with statewide outlets. For these TV spots, the retailer wanted to use a very famous, nationally recognized football star as their spokesman. After a few meetings, and with final budget approval, this commercial production was awarded to our company.

The afternoon before the shooting was to begin, my secretary (today called an administrative assistant) informed me that I was to join my agency contact and his client for drinks at a renowned local bar. “How nice,” I thought on my way downtown. “Just the way all good jobs should start!”

           Arriving at the bar, I found my clients having a delightful time. But I was neither asked to sit nor invited to have a cocktail. Instead, I was instructed to drive out to the airport to pick up the famous football star.
          “Bring him back here for a drink,” the retailer said, reaching into his suit pocket. “And you’ll need this.” Pulling out a fat brown envelope, he tossed it my way.
          “What’s this?” I inquired.
          “It’s his fee. $20,000.00 in cash.” (That would be about $50.000 in today’s money.) “He requires it when he steps off the plane,” my agency friend responded.
          Bewildered, I nodded and departed for the airport. Driving down the freeway, I was nervous as hell with all that money on me. What if I had an accident? What if I was mugged? What if the guy didn’t show up?

          An hour later, I waited for the star at his arrival gate. When he got off the jet-way, he was swarmed with fans looking for autographs. Pushing through the crowd, I introduced myself. He turned my way and simply asked, “Do you have something for me?” When I handed him the fat brown envelope, he grinned and we both hustled out of the airport.

He turned out to be a nice guy and easy to work with. Our TV spots turned out fine and everyone seemed pleased. But I’ve always wondered whether our football star slept with that fat brown envelope under his hotel pillow.