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Never Kiss a Burning Fool |
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| My dream had always been
photography school. So, four years out of high school, I applied and
waited for my acceptance into Brooks Institute of Photography. During
this time I rented a room from a friend who knew the world of bachelorhood.
After three years of a failed marriage, I was ready to explore this world
and taste some sweet fun. Soon I was working as a backup bartender and
sampling every liquor on the back bar. That’s when I first discovered
Green Chartreuse, a French liqueur made in a monastery
by Monks. It was a good, but dangerous brew, with a kick of 130 proof.
My favorite way of drinking this cordial, was in a 2oz shot glass with a
water back. It was smooth, tasty and warmed my innards. |
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| One Saturday night my bachelor buddy set me
up with a blind date. His girlfriend, who went to college in nearby
city, had a roommate who didn’t mind dating a divorced man. As we
drove to pickup our dates, the radio news was mostly about the war in
Vietnam and Buddhist Priests who doused their frocks with gasoline and
then lit themselves on fire as a protest to the war. These tragic
stories had been all over the news for months. |
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After picking up the ladies, we headed back to our hometown, stopping
along the way for cocktails and dancing. Finally, we ended up in one of
my barroom haunts where the dance floor was crowded, the lights were low
and band music loud. As we sat at a small round table in a dark corner
we ordered some drinks. My pal was drinking whisky with a water back,
the girls martinis and me, of course, Green Chartreuse. Sometime during the evening, after lighting a cigarette, I
noticed that when I placed a burning match into a full glass of
Chartreuse it would glow with a beautiful blue flame. That’s when an
idea hit me like a freight train. Why not drink my Green Chartreuse flaming? What a great way to impress my
date! My intoxicated mind told me that all I had to do was get all the
booze inside my mouth quickly, and then simply close my mouth. No
problem! With the band playing and the room filled
with dancers, I announced my intentions to our table. The two girls
looked at me like I was crazy, while my pal sat there with disbelief all
over his face. Giggling and laughing, I picked up the flaming drink and
tossed it at my face. But I forgot to open my mouth! Instantly the drink
spread on my skin like gasoline and then my pal threw his full glass of
water across the table. It made the flames move to my clothes. Using my
hands, within a few seconds I was able to pat out the flames. But the
glow from our dark corner had made the band stop playing and everyone on
the dance floor turn our way. Embarrassed, I quickly stood and
shouted, “Don’t worry folks, I’m training to be a Buddhist!” With some snickering and laugher the music
started again and the crowd returned to their dancing. Within the hour,
pain replaced embarrassment and I was taken to the hospital for
treatment of my second and third degree burns. |
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